Talking bout’ Trust Issues July 6, 2008

     This survey comes on the heels of my readings in the book of Ruth. I read on how Ruth “trusted” the Lord for her future- completely. Starting with when she had to move away from her own family to be with her husband’s. Still after the death of her husband she trusted the Lord. Yet again when she chose to stay with her mother-in-law (WOW! For us women we know how commendable that is huh ladies!) who had nothing and could promise her no provision. Ruth vowed to stay with Naomi regardless of where she went or what she lacked. Ruth trusted the Lord to provide for all of her needs from the basic one’s to the most difficult. In the end the Lord provided far greater than Ruth probably ever imagined.

     Why does it seem so difficult many times for us to just trust in the Lord completely? Do we actually think we could do a better job in decision making and determining the outcome of our futures if we call the shots? I think many times for myself it’s been that i’m impatient and don’t want to wait out what the Lord’s got because i’ve got things to do and places to go. Then what happens… catastrophe.

     I admit that I have not been very good at trusting and finding the R & R that comes with trusting the Lord instead of trying to jump ahead of Him. In fact, i’m going to share with you first hand from my own life an example.

     It all started with a thought. The thought that this crazy passion for sawdust piles, paint chips, and freshly copied blueprints meant that i ought to pursue after a love of mine- Interior Design & Architecture. What did i do? I ran off to enroll in art college to get a move on with it! I found myself working for a thriving design firm, not necessarily doing what i had wanted to do with design but designing none the less. I was doing quite well in school. Things seemed to be going great, business was good, my ego was puffing up, and i thought that i had really at last been or started to be a success at something other than talking too much. My husband and I started drifting into the lifestyle of frivolous spending. Bought two new vehicles, ate out three meals a day, got whatever we wanted, and I even decided that I was going to purchase my first piece of art fora collection. A year went by, the construction dropped off and so did my cash-able paychecks. Then the owner of the firm started a string of dishonesty that threatened my reputation for association with her unhonorable business practices. I finally realized that i had gone very wrong! Never did i pray about this and wait for an answer from the Lord. Rather I invited Him to come along for the ride and i plowed open the doors for myself. Disaster struck at gale force! All because of my lack of trust.

     Are a bunch of you ready to quit reading my blog now that you know i’m really a creep!?! I’ll be the first to admit that I have had…key word had… trust issues with the Lord. Not because he did anything untrustworthy but because i like to be boss lots of times an my impatience has warped my better judgement.

     I see such an incredible example in Ruth for all of us. She truly trusted the Lord in so many ways and waited out what he had for her and how he would provide. An of course, in the end the Lord exceeded her expectations with his favor and blessings. Awesome huh?!

     Can you imagine being like Ruth? Giving up all the area’s of our lives to the Lord completely. Saying, “Lord do as you want with me!” Well, that’s my wish for all of us, especially myself. With every passing day may i just fall again into His trustworthy arms and know the R & R that comes from letting go.  

  

Happy Anniversary Roni! July 3, 2008

Pappa-Roni,

     Happy 4th Anniversary! Me loves you the most-y of the most-y of the most-y! You are an incredible husband. I am honored that you chose me, out of all the women in the world, to be your wife. How blessed am I?!

     This year is going to be full of exciting new things for us together. I can’t wait to see how the Lord blesses our lives this year as we step forward in total reliance on Him for BIG stuff to happen. It’s gonna be awesome!! Let’s just hang tight, like monkey babies, to the Lord and trust Him in all things.

     Thank you for all the love, time, care, and attention you give to me. Oh and for the laughs too. If we could tally up how many calories we’ve lost laughing it would probably be a million by now. I’m grateful to share such a wonderful relationship with you where we carry on till our guts hurt or someone starts whining! It’s beautiful. Or how we get all competitive and slay each other at Skip-Bo. Then rub in our winnings to the other. I could never imagine my life without you, it would be completely boring and lacking. Praise God for bringing us together!

Happy Anniversary Love!

FYI- “Roni” is Barry’s luv name from me. Short for pepperoni, because he’s so freckly, and pepperoni’s have freckles.

Being Raised from the Dry Well June 27, 2008

“I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” - John 6:35

How many, many times have we tried to fill our life buckets with contaminated water? I know for myself that it’s been ten times too many. Who knew such buckets could sustain the weight of sinful decisions in  mass quantity?! Yet the whole time all i needed was one drop of His living water, one taste of His bread of Life.

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” - Jeremiah 2:13

Today I was reading about the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. How she had been searching to get her thirst quenched from the wrong places. How often have we done the same? People, Enjoyment, Accomplishment.

“On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘If anyone is hungry, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.’” -John 7:37-38

For some reason I hung around the ‘Dry Well’ far too long, perhaps that was a pride issue. Okay, why am i perhaps-ing– It was most certainly a pride issue! I was ‘that’ woman at the well- ashamed of my poor choices and the consequences they had. I was dig, dig, digging dry wells left & right. Then the Lord met me there and offered me a stream of living water. Since I have taken him up on that the only thirst i have is for more of Him and less…so much less… of me. Now i want to run off like the Samaritan women leaving my jar behind and bring everyone back to see for themselves the Christ- THE Living Water.

Are you feeling like that woman at the well? Drinking of the contaminated waters of sin & shame. Wanting more but always coming up dry. Call upon the Lord to fill you up with His stream of Living Water! Then get your pool rafts & suntan lotion and just bask in His awesomeness girls!

W-o-w! June 22, 2008

I have arrived back home safely from the She Speaks Conference. All I can say right now is W-O-W!! The Lord exceeded my expectations in a huge, big, gigantic, monstrous way. What was His alternative right?! He’s a huge, big, gigantic, enormous, loving Abba Father!!! Who answers the prayers of His “dust” children in ways they can’t find words to express. That’s how I am at this moment- speechless. In fact, I’m still trying to soak in all that I’ve just experienced. I can’t wait to share it with you all. But not just yet.

NOTE TO MY SHE SPEAKS GIRLFRIENDS

D* Rest:I prayed two minutes before you sat in the chair on Friday that the Lord would send me a really great girlfriend for life. Once again He has superseded my expectations!! I could not have connected with anyone i would have enjoyed more. Someone who i believe really, truly lives out ”resting.” I’m sure He planned that because i have A LOT to learn from you in that department. I see a book contract on the horizon girl! I look forward to being privy to seeing the Lord open amazing doors for you from your obedience to His call and your trust in Him. PS- Be You. Cuz’ your G-R-R-REAT! 

F*:I’m still chuckling over how God’s sense of humor is. How be it that two interior designers wind up as prayer partners at a conference for women who speak-lead-write?! <–*Godwink* Perhaps the Lord has majorly different plans for us as careers. “Smile” I look forward to the friendship that we’ll begin and the opportunity to lift each other up in prayer.

Bloggin Buddies:All you ladies are just precious! I was excited to meet you each in person and know you outside of your bloggy titles. Your all hottt momma’s & grandmomma’s too! I will be continuing to read your blogs and hopefully we’ll meet again next year.

War Tactics & Elliptical Machines June 17, 2008

Visualize this…

Early morning sunshine spilling onto the living room floor. Music blasting Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger.” A big dork (me, of course) huffing it 100 mph on her elliptical machine belting out the words to the song in total 80’s fashion (minus the sweatbands). ** I have added the video for memories sake in case any of you were in need of a flashback. ** 

What the heck am I doing you ask?! Preparing for war with Satan over going to my conference with a sound mind, open ears, and a willing heart. It’s apparent that Satan is attacking P31 and it’s attendees with doubts, fears, sickness, devastation, inadequate feelings, family troubles, and stress. To that i say…

…”Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against the flesh and blood, but against the rulers , against the authorities, and against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground”… Ephesians 6:10-13

So while i sweat my tail off on the elliptical machine my prayer is that the Lord will be BIG for us girls. Send to us reminders of His promises, open doors, safe traveling, and peace in our hearts. An just be BIG in our lives this weekend.  We want more of Him and less of ourselves! Help us keep strong and wear our armour of the Lord as satan wages battle in our minds for these last few days.

Thank you Lord in advance for what you are going to bring about through this conference for each of us! We trust that no time is wasted and all things have purpose. Even those desert times we are learning and growing in You.

Sweating Like Crazy,

Heather

 

Heather’s Adventures In Babysitting June 9, 2008

     I am sure that many of you are going to be laughing while i share this experience. As for me, i’m still recovering!

WARNING: If you have a weak bladder please proceed with CAUTION.

     In case some of you don’t already know Barry & I can’t have children due to my accident (which you can read about in my testimony for you new comers). We have lots of nieces and nephews, but once again no kids. Therefore, this large chunk of knowledge on how to handle certain “issues” with kids is totally missing from our brains. Let me fill you in my our  Saturday evening…

     Barry’s sister asked us to watch her youngest child (3 mo old) overnight so she could go to a wedding. We unknowingly accepted this task with big smiles. After getting our nephew and feeling all good about this adventure in baby sitting we got a brilliant idea to take 3 month old Isaac out to dinner. Mind you Barry & I are known for our dinners where we talk, stare into each others eyes, and solve the problems of the adult world all while we sip tea & eat a 7 course meal. Isaac was pretty good for the most of dinner. I thought it rather odd how he can still be drinking formula from a bottle yet know that when i lifted the fork it was my turn to eat  which meant he must be held immediately. I obliged and learned how to juggle a baby  in one arm while wrapping pasta around a fork without spilling it on him. A+ for that!

     Finally, we came back home from our outting and decided that it would be nice to bathe him and put jammies on. Of course, all the while hoping to lay him down in his crib directly following the bath & bottle. I leaned over the tub starting to lower him in … as soon as his pinky toe touched the water he let our the most blood curddling scream. It was like i heard him one second and then my brain went deaf the next, then heard, then deaf, then heard, then deaf. Barry comes running in from the living room too see what was the cause for breaking the sound barrier only to find him being hovered over the nicely made warm bath. Normally, the only cause for such a scream as that comes as a direct result of a cockroach or frog sighting. It’s a wonder that i didn’t drop him from this unannounced screech of terror. I now know that he has a fear of water… apparently. His mother never alerted me to this tidbit of information. F- in child bathing.

     After our violation of the sound barrier at bath time i made a bottle and thought that was the key to getting those little eyes closed for the evening. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!  The bottle was not the answer and i never did find out what was. Regardless, i spent the next 13 hours trying everything under the sun. I was up, down, up, down… the pacifier (what a deceiving name) falls out of the baby’s mouth he screams again, i put it back in, i propped, i covered, i cradled, i rocked, i sang ( I am certain that action did not help), i prayed, i begged, i tried to barter with a 3-mo old, and i finally thought that  maybe i’d  done something right because one eyelid shut. I Iaid him into the crib, hopped into my bed, got my blankies all situated , shut my eyes, and as soon as my head hit the pillow…. he screamed louder than before.  F- In bedtime attempts

     Where is Barry you ask? Sleeping like an angel. I looked over at him in the dark with gleaming eyes shooting daggers at his ears. Later i nicely told him i hated him for sleeping there are cute & comfy while i was enduring the worst hours of my life.

     I picked back up Isaac and nicely explained to him that no matter how terrible he thought he had it …. this was 1000 times worse for me! Prayerfully, his mother came after Barry called to ask her to please rescue us from her monster child. Whew! We high fived that this adventure had at last come to an end! Then i promptly called my sister to yell at her for not coming to my rescue in the night- she laughed, My mother laughed, My grandmother laughed! People i am not laughing! It will be a VERY LONG time before i consider self induced all night torture again.

     Nevertheless, i took 3 birth control pills yesterday morning in hopes to ensure i won’t have that happen again! I give you moms big props!  How in the world do you do it?! Barry & I have promised each other we’ll never do that to ourselves again! It’s apparently not our “gift” from the Lord as it was quite evident in retrospect. I prayed in the night that the Lord would forgive me for my stupidity in ever saying i wanted a child of my own.

REPORT CARD

Barry & Heather

Bathing- F

Bedtime- F

Hope you all enjoyed this lil’ funny from my weekend!

It’s Official…The nervousness has set in! June 7, 2008

     Yesterday I got my registration in the mail for the She Speaks conference. It was such a hectic day that i never got the chance to actually sit down and read any of it. Well, i finally did today. As i read through the paperwork a wave of chills went down my spine, my eyes teared up, and all of a sudden the nervousness set in. Nowi’m kind of an emotional wreck. I’m not a cry-er, but i think i am today. I don’t really know why i cry when i think about this (going to the conference). I guess it’s maybe the realization that this somehow marks the beginning of whatever it is that the Lords up to with & In me because the choice to GO was my first step outta the boat of comfort and familiarity. It’s exciting and i know i shouldn’t feel nervous. Maybe it’s not totally nervousness either. Perhaps the thought that God could use my life’s struggles to bring joy to His name- which is very humbling so i hear.

Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

     You all are my witnesses! So i’ll throw off my thoughts which hinder me many times and the unbelief of some which also hinders me. I’m freeing myself from any sin that entagles by rendering & repentance. An lastly i am going to run this race marked out for us!! The race for time because not a one of us knows how many more days or hours we have until our departure or the arrival of the Lord for his children to bring us home. The race is to love Him more each day by living out the instructions He gave us in His Word. Because of that love for the Most High unbelievers will be drawn and when they seek out from their heart of hearts where this love comes from they will find Him- The Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Forgiver of Sins, Healer of Hearts, The Great I Am.  An all this regardless of how rich, how poor, how successful or not, how broken hearted, how lonely, how humbled, how famous, how big or small a church, how many activities or not, how old or young, how shy or bold, how much scripture knowledge or not because by Him we are accepted just as we are, where we are! How bout’ a race for that folks!?! It’s awesome to see friends and unbleivers turn their lives over to the Lord.

     I pray the Lord makes me a good runner like Billy Graham. I know your thinking, “Billy Graham didn’t run he preached.” Well, preaching is running the race! Can you imagine if we could count how many have come into a personal relationship with the Saviour from his ministry- that the Lord operates? I bet millions!! I would say Billy Graham and his ministry have “run” the race with a perseverance that the Lord has ignited in them day-after-day, year-after-year. An look at the fruit they have to show for their obedience, willingness, and complete trust in the Lord.

     Even though i’m kinda nervous about this trip to the conference. I’m thinking B-I-G, no in the box Jesus for me!! I’m stectching out… in prayer… that God moves mountains and springs up wells in my life. I hope all of you are! We gotta think bigger than ever before because the sin seems to be growing larger and faster. An lets face it- People need the Lord!

Fighting Back Tears- Heather

Weekend Fun! June 5, 2008

 

I promised some pictures from the last couple weekends. So here they are! We hope you enjoy them. There’s quite an array of critters there to see- Leopard Rays, Sharks, Goofballs, Horses, In-Law’s, Spanish Mackrel, Husbands, and even my sibling- Ms. Heidi Jeanne & her soon to be hubby Matty. Maybe i can share some cute pics i took of them later too! Enjoy!

 

New Patterns June 4, 2008

     Yeah, Yeah, Yeah… Where have I been you ask?! Well, don’t worry i haven’t been slacking. I’ve been behind the scene’s trying to get the new blog up and running. Since i used a different blogging platform it’s quite unfamiliar and takes some time to get all figured out. On top of that i have been in communication with the designer for my new site. All that process caused me to fry brain cells. So many decisions! But prayerfully by the end of the month the new design will be up and I’ll do the official launch. It’s gonna be really cool! Please go over, check it out, then let me know what kinds of info you’d like to learn about or get the truth on. I’m always wanting to know what it is my readers would like to hear about. (The Green Wifey)   Now onto my recent thoughts…

     While i have been in fasting & prayer i must tell you something about you changes. I’m not sure how to completely explain it other than your mind becomes focused more on godliness. I notice myself saying “no” to things and walking away or shutting it off. I found myself wandering the aisles of Goodwill yesterday praying for all the people in each aisle and the store employees as i browsed for hidden treasures & steals of deals. It makes you sensitive to the things of the Lord i believe. I like this new pattern that has emerged. I hope i never fall out of it!

     Sunday night i finished my the Fasting by Jentezen Franklin book and I can’t say it enough- That is one dynamic book. I have learned things from scripture and had my eyes opened in so many ways. It’s just awesome to have the power of this knowledge in God’s promises and desires. Many of the verses really came alive to me for the first time.

     As the weeks are creeping closer to conference time (June 20-22) I feel excited about the direction the Lord is taking me. I really am setting no expectations for anything because i want the Lord to just do whatever He wants without me in His way. I’m just praying for Him to open my eyes to His call and help guide my steps in whatever capacity He would like me to use them and where. I’m just trying to keep my mind open to what the Lord is teaching me about things because from that is where I’ll eventually draw my inspiration for writing all things.

     On another note- We have been praying about the potential future move and already strange things are happening at Barry’s work. Not sure what God’s up to but the timing of it all and the way it’s happened seem very out of the ordinary for them. Barry’s boss told him that there will be a lot of moves happening within the company here over the next couple years. Who know’s what’ll happen maybe some other people will move and Barry will step into a higher position right here in our town.  

      I hope all of you are having great weeks! Sorry I’ve been away from my Moose for a bit. I have missed writing for & to you all! Later i’ll try to put some pics up of our fun weekend on the water and with the horses!

 

After the rain the sun always comes out again May 20, 2008

     I’m here… Brains once again intact and all! Yip-ee!! The count down is on folks. Exactly one month from today I will be flying to the writer’s conference. I’m excited but a bit nervous because i’m sure as time gets closer the devil will toy with me in some other way and i’m trying not to imagine what he might be plotting next to try to keep me from the conference. Nevertheless, I’M GOING whether he likes it or not! Now that’s that!

     I feel like over the past few days i’m coming to the harsh realization that people everywhere are hurting and struggling. Never before has my heart been sad in this way. I guess the closer you become to the Lord the more sensetive you are to the things that break His heart too. Some of these people i am referring to know the Lord in a personal way and the others i’m convinced not. Regardless, I want to share with you a quote i came across in a devotional yesterday.

“Be still sad heart, and cease repining; behind the clouds is the sun still shining.”

– Longfellow

     In otherwords, even though things look grimm or the struggles feel like their gonna wear your nerves thin. Just remember that even when the clouds seem to be blocking the sun, it’s still shining. God has not gotten to busy for us that He isn’t aware of what’s happening. We just need to pray (cry out from our hearts like little kids to Him, our Abba Father) trust Him and look for the lesson in the cloud. Remain focused!

     Three weeks ago i sat in the big medical facility at Tampa General Hospital waiting for my turn to see the new surgeon. Inside i was shaking, not from fear, but just the whole waiting period for the last 4 months to please come to an end that day. I was reading in my Disciplship Journal Magazine about how worry steals from us. Emotions can become an idol in our life, my worry was just that. Another cotton-pickin’ idol! Just what i needed right?! I realized that i spent 4 months thinking and worrying about this situation that i could totally miss out on a blessing. YUK! I started repeating that verse in my head… “Lord, I believe, Help my unbelief!” Again & Again & Again i said it in my head. Then i had to soul search a bit. I asked my pathetic self, “Heather, do you really believe that God can deal with this surgeon problem?” Heather replied, “Yes, you gave me the best before Lord.” Heather’s wiser personality spoke up and added, “Then what’s the problem here lady. If you know & trust then why are you wasting time worrying. T-R-U-S-T” Okay so now the truth is out and you all know i too talk to myself. Unfortunatly, not always have i listened to wise myself.

     I think the only remedy for this problem i see in us all is to pray to the God who is in control of it all. The one that love’s us, cares for us, has our best interest in mind, and know’s what’s up ahead around that corner. Because i feel so compelled to break this stronghold in myself and a few other’s i know i am about to embark on fast #2. This Friday i am fasting for a few personal things but mostly for a few friends, family, and aqcuaintances that the Lord is going to break the strongholds that are happening in their lives. Sin, Singleness, Jobs, Moves, Healing, Discernment, Life-altering changes, financial blessings, and Salvations. The more i have learned from that Fasting book on the biblical examples set in the Bible on fasting i’m convinced that if my heart has the right motives and i’m doing the other things that God has commanded then i’m simply opening the door, by my sacrifice to Him, for amazing things to take place. If you have a concern or need that you’d like me to pray over during my fast on this Friday please shoot me an e-mail and i’ll lift you up in prayer.

      Hang in there my family & friends! God is moving! But we need to get moving in His name!

Heather’s e-mail:    proofofhisgrace@tampabay.rr.com  (That reads Proof of His Grace)